A Jew’s favorite Christmas song, by the Smothers’ Brothers, circa 1969:
You better not shout
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why:
Santa Claus is dead.
Pity I could not locate the song. Anyways, here’s your dang games.
Monday: No Games Scheduled.
No games scheduled today, which is good, because Christmas Eve is the day where all the Christmas-celebrators celebrate Christmas, and all the heathens (aka, Jews) watch cable channels doing marathons of their most marketable shows. Discovery’s busting out a “Moonshiners” marathon today. A&E’s trotting out 24 straight hours of “Storage Wars”. But the crown jewel? ”Martin” on TV One all day. Damn Gina, it’s the most wonderful time of the year!
Tuesday: The Christmas Day Slate
Too many games on Christmas Day to talk about here. Look for our special Christmas Day Viewing Guide tomorrow. I will just say: Christmas Day 2011 was tip-off day last year. The players were fat, the basketball was awful, and The Diss was just getting going again. We’ve come a long way since then.
Wednesday: Houston Rockets at Minnesota Timberwolves (5:00 PM PST on League Pass)
I just recently learned that Beardsanity is not James Harden’s new nickname (as I erroneously wrote a few months back), but instead, the nickname for the James Harden-Jeremy Lin tandem. Why didn’t anyone send me the memo? Anyways, the Houston Rockets, who, according to some, are the most exciting team in the league, take on the Wolves, who are becoming the new Trailblazers in terms of catastrophic knee injuries to key contributors. Both of these teams are fun to watch, have a realistic shot at a low playoff seed, and Kevin McHale used to have a role in (destroying) the Wolves organization. Though he did trade for Kevin Love on draft night. Using O.J. Mayo, no less. Can’t forget that.
Thursday: Dallas Mavericks at Oklahoma City Thunder (5:00 PM PST on TNT)
The Thunder are rolling, and the Mavs are (sorta) treading water. But these two teams always seem to play each other well, and there’s certainly no love lost between them after having faced each other in two straight playoff years. Dirk is back, and likely, so is their hawkish zone defense which confounded the Thunder in their first two games in the playoffs last year. Moreover, I’m ready to see The Player Formerly Known as CDR debut as the Mavs…point guard? I expect this to be a fairly close contest.
Friday: Charlotte Bobcats at Brooklyn Nets (4:00 PM PST on League Pass)
Who would’ve thought that the Bobcats best chance to end their 15 game losing streak would be against the formerly dominant Brooklyn Nets? This game has the potential to send some shockwaves through the Nets organization, who have gone 3-7 in their last 10 and are playing sub-.500 ball at home. The team has been getting minimal production from its bench, and Deron Williams is shooting the ball as poorly as he ever has in his career. And Avery Johnson’s name is starting to appear on “hot seat” lists (I never liked him as coach of this team, anyways). Bad times in Brooklyn. Maybe they can trade Joe Johnson. Oh, wait.
Saturday: Boston Celtics at Golden State Warriors (7:30 PM PST on League Pass)
I’ll be at this game, so I’ll let you guys know how it goes. Both the C’s and the W’s will have played the night before against playoff opponents (the C’s will be in LA playing the Ol’ Clip Show, while the Dubs will be protecting their home court against the Sixers), so this will be a good BTB benchmark game for both clubs. The Dubs continue to grow, and their 118-115 loss to the Lake Show on Saturday night was, for all intents and purposes, the game of the year. The Celtics, meanwhile, are either done, or finals contenders. We don’t know. We never know.
Sunday: Utah Jazz at LA Clippers (7:30 PM PST on League Pass)
No hangover game this week, so we’re just going with the best game of the night. Consider this: if the Clips beat Denver on Christmas Day, and the Celtics on Friday, they will have won 15 straight. ”15 straight games” and “win” still don’t go together naturally when discussing the Ol’ Clip Show. But the times, they have a-change’ed.