Diss Guy: Penny Hardaway
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Last night’s “big” story was JaVale McGee’s much-anticipated confrontation with his number one bully, Shaquille O’Neal, in an interview that went much, much worse than TNT anticipated. I think it’s all a non-story myself (including the “coon” thing, which sounded like he misspoke, to me). So you can go somewhere else to read about that.
Instead, let’s talk a little bit about last night’s unexpected pleasure: Penny Hardaway filling in for Kenny Smith on Inside the NBA. Penny joined EJ, as well as his former Orlando Magic teammates Shaq and Dennis Scott for the proceedings, and it was a legitimately good time. Individuals who don’t watch Inside the NBA on the regular would think he was a permanent member on the TNT panel. He was smooth, smart, eloquent and funny, and seemed like a better fit next to Shaq and EJ than Reggie, C-Webb or Dennis Scott. It’s impressive that he has this much talent considering he had been mostly coaching middle school teams (to state championships, as a favor to a friend fighting cancer). Shaq offered high, genuine praise for Li’l Penny, naming him one of the best guards he ever played with. This is a pretty big deal, considering the impressive arrayofguards Shaq has teamed up with.
Truth be told, I’m too young to remember Li’l Penny. I have vague memories of him from the inter-Jordan years (though maybe it was just the iconic Li’l Penny commercials, I’m not really sure). When I became a heavy consumer of the NBA, Penny had already made his way to Phoenix, his athleticism and speed destroyed by multiple knee surgeries (he was one of the first to undergo the dreaded microfracture procedure which has curtailed and ended several promising careers). He was no longer a top shelf guard, having ceded the top spot to Jason Kidd, Gary Payton, John Stockton and others. As such, I never got to see in the highlights, slashing to the hoop, lobbing passes to a young Shaq, recording triple doubles, and selling the hottest shoes not-named Air Jordan. That’s a shame, but so it goes.
While I’m sure Penny is a helluva middle school coach, I’d love to see him on television, dropping dimes about the game. I can think of a few people he’d be better than. Much, much better, by a wide margin.
–JG
Miss Guys: Serge Ibaka, and his Merry Band of Nut Touchers
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I have played sports at a pretty high level. Not a professionally high level, but I have dedicated thousands of hours of my life to training for sports. I’m generally very competitive, and even more so once I step onto the (in my case) field. I will do most anything allowable by the rules to gain an advantage, and will certainly talk an unrelenting amount of trash to my opponents. If it gets them off their game, I win. But it has never even occurred to me to hit an opponent in his balls, and even if it had I wouldn’t have considered it remotely acceptable.
For some reason though, it is a thing that NBA players do. More specifically, it is a thing that NBA stars do. In fact, so many NBA stars have touched their opponents twig and berries that I can make an All-Star team of them. Regrettably, I now present the NBA All-Package Punchers team.
PG: Chris Paul – Back in college, at the end of a play Chris Paul reached down and punched Julius Hodge in the nuts.
SG: Dwyane Wade – Earlier this season, Dwyane Wade was fouled and “accidentally” kicked Ramon Sessions between the legs. Wade was suspended for one game.
SF: Nicolas Batum – In one of the most egregious incidents I’ve seen on a basketball court, during the Olympics a frustrated Batum simply sprinted up to Juan Carlos Navarro and unleashed a punch. Frustrated with what he saw as flopping by the Spanish team, Batum famously said to Adrian Wojnarowski he “wanted to give [Navarro] a good reason to flop”. He later apologized.
PF: Serge Ibaka – I suppose I can only thank Ibaka for hitting Blake Griffin below the waist as he rounded out this team, but as a man—and a human—I can’t support that. For some inane reason the NBA saw fit to retroactively upgrade Ibaka’s flagrant one foul to a flagrant two, but not suspend him. C’mon Stu Jackson.
C: DeMarcus Cousins – Cousins is both the center and the backup center on this list, as he’s hit opponents in the cojones twice!! In an NCAA tournament game back in college Cousins lashed out at Da’Shuan Butler trying to hit the ball, though there is a genuine case to be made that this was accidental. Not so a few months later, as Cousins reached behind him and gave OJ Mayo a little love tap. As Mayo yelled to the referee “Check the tape, he hit me in my nuts!”
I know you want to win guy, but c’mon. Just stop.
–KD