The kiddies take the floor on Thursday, and pro ball will take a seat on the bench for a few weeks. Get the good stuff while you can.
Monday: Miami Heat at Boston Celtics (5:00 PM PST on ESPN)
Kevin Garnett’s gonna play, right? He wouldn’t miss a chance to deny the Heat a chance at history, would he? No. I don’t think so, either. Bill Simmons said this was the game of the year, and since he never gives off-the-cuff superlatives, I’m gonna believe him!
Tuesday: Portland Trail Blazers at Milwaukee Bucks (5:00 PM PST on League Pass)
Holy moly, Monta. You did NOT just score 25 points in the 4th quarter to beat the Magic at home, did you? You did? Dayum, dayum, DAYUM. You and the Bucks are on some next-level shit right now. Glad to see that We Believe-ness is rubbing off on your team. I still don’t miss you though. Do I?
Wednesday: Golden State Warriors at San Antonio Spurs (5:30 PM PST on League Pass)
This week’s Homer Game features the big taco salad of the Warriors road trip: a roadie against the 51-win San Antonio Spurs. My “Swipecard to the Contest” (“Keys to the Game” is copyrighted) is pivot play. If the Dubs get anything close to what they got from Bogey against the Rockets (12, 12, 3 blks) against the Pelicans, I’ll feel slightly more optimistic about our chances against the Spurs and Timmy, who had 30 points, 12 boards, 5 blocks, 4 assists against the Cavs on Saturday. But he didn’t have any steals! Guy’s falling apart in front of our eyes.
Thursday: Minnesota Timberwolves at Sacramento Kings (7:00 PM PST on League Pass)
March Madness begins Thursday, where bricked threes and missed free throws will reign supreme. Also, TNT’s “Inside the NBA” crew will be busy covering college games that night because of course they’re experts, so the powers that be left us some basketball leftovers. So whatever. If you’re into college ball, have at it. I’m gonna watch Ricky and Isaiah Thomas.
Friday: Washington Wizards at Los Angeles Lakers (7:30 PM PST on League Pass)
Another blah night of ball. Goddamned NCAA tournament! I know it’s responsible for this week of suck somehow. So here you go: Wiz vs Lake Show. Wiz just went 3-0 on their last homestand, and continue to look like a team that’s closer to being in the playoffs than in the lottery. The Lakers are…well, just Google Lakers, and you’ll figure it all out.
Saturday: Indiana Pacers at Chicago Bulls (5:00 PM PST on League Pass)
This is a risky choice; sorta like putting two hamsters in a jar, shaking the jar really hard, and seeing if they’ll fight. It could be entertaining, a really scrappy bout. But you could also shake the jar too hard, and the hamsters will break their little bones, and suddenly the whole jar shaking thing won’t be as much fun anymore. I think I lost this one. Anyways, just hope the offense shows up for this one.
Sunday: San Antonio Spurs at Houston Rockets (4:00 PM PST on League Pass)
No hangover game. No marquee ABC game. So Spurs twice this week? Yeah, Spurs twice. Deal with it. There’s really nothing else that I’d be interested in seeing, save Utah-Mavs to see whether Utah still makes the bottom half of the playoff race interesting. But as Houston approaches the playoffs, I’m increasingly interested to see how they deal with their suddenly shortened rotation. Thomas Robinson isn’t looking ready for primetime, and I think they’re missing Patrick Patterson more than they thought.